Dating apps reviewed – I put 3 dating apps to the test in the hunt for the next potential Mr Wrap Your Lips Around This….
Dating Apps are on fire right now, and with so many on offer I couldn’t resist getting out there and seeing what all the fuss is about.
For a laugh I thought I’d document a ‘choice’ date from 3 different dating apps, along with some info about the apps themselves. This is a hugely tongue-in-cheek post so please don’t take The Date examples to be indicative about the Apps themselves, weirdos are to be found everywhere.
Here are the apps I’m testing out…
A trailblazer in the culture of swipe and scroll dating apps
I was at first hesitant to include Tinder but actually there are some really genuine people using it, who you’ll stumble upon if you swipe for long enough.
How to use it : Create a profile, upload a couple of pictures and write a short paragraph about yourself, then get ‘swiping’. Swiping another users picture to the right means that you like them (swiping to the left is the opposite), and if they swipe your picture to the right too then you can speak to each other in a private dialogue box. Swiping is addictive, you have been warned.
In his early 30’s, The Date has heaps going for him: he works in marketing, enjoys a good film and references books deliciously, accurately quoting The Hitchhikers Guide to The Galaxy at all the best moments. Things are going reasonably well on our first date at Dandelyan (which I’ve included in my Top 10 Best Date Venues in London), and I am sipping winningly on drink, congratulating myself on my stellar find and enjoying the general ambiance of success… until it transpires that he is also still married, letting me in on it gently with a ‘My wife has the dog this weekend’…
What I like about Tinder: Instant access to basically everyone in London. I don’t know a single single person who hasn’t at one stage at least downloaded the app – and apparently lots of non-single people too ;)
What I don’t like so much: I’ve found that every time I swipe right I get an instant match, which is flattering but in reality suggests that most male users just blindly swipe right to get a ‘match’ and take it from there.
Based on the premise that you are already ‘connected’ to the people who you see on the app
Hinge uses your Facebook friends to compile a list of people who you are friends of friends with, and people who you have secondary connections with too. I love that everyone I come across is already from the same sort of peer group as me, and the app seems generally more focused on professionals.
How to use it : Allow Hinge access to your Facebook, create a profile, upload a couple of pictures and write a short paragraph about yourself, then get ‘swiping’. Hinge works much like Tinder in that you swipe right to show interest with the potential of making a match and swipe left to do the opposite.
Private school educated and working in the city, The Date is a fairly suave and well put together character. He is well spoken, has obvious ambition and aspirations, and generally is up and about and doing something from travel to dining out to considering buying that first property. On his suggestion we get nibbles at the fabulous Scarfes Bar at The Rosewood Hotel London, and I’m impressed with his knowledge of London and the effort he’s put into arranging the date. All is good until I get home and find a fairly unappetising picture of his privates in my inbox #gag
What I like about Hinge: Although The Date and I don’t end up seeing each other again (what a surprise), generally I like Hinge for when you’re looking for someone who would instantly fit in your current circle of friends.
What I don’t like so much: Nothing really, but I do occasionally miss the randomness of the encounters that you get on Tinder.
Click to read My Review of Scarfes Bar
‘Find People You’ve Crossed’ is the slogan for Happn, and accordingly it shows you people who are geographically close to you
Every time you cross paths with someone on Happn in real life then their profile will pop up on your Happn. The paranoid old lady in me sort of distrusts this at first, but it’s a feature that ends up being hugely practical in terms of being able to meet someone face to face. If you ever wondered if anyone around you is single and looking then Happn is sure to tell you.
How to use it : Allow Happn access to your Facebook, create a profile, upload a couple of pictures and write a short paragraph about yourself, then see who pops up on your Happn app. Clicking on a profile shows you more information about the person and a map of where you crossed paths.
Out of interest I switch on Happn at Hix Bar in Soho and a bunch of people in the vicinity spring up on my feed, one of whom sends a ‘charm’ to my Happn profile. Scanning the bar I make the guy out: a dark haired 6-footer with a jaw that doesn’t quit and a browbone that juts out ever so pleasingly. I reciprocate the signal of interest on Happen and he crosses the room to come and meet me.
The wealth of his obvious physical assets are all well and good, but the lack of commonality is hard to gloss over. I think about ways to stop him from speaking too much – to better appreciate the dense foliage of his beard, the squareness of his chin underneath – but the spell is entirely broken when he suggests moving over to a ping pong. In Soho. An area of London where you can’t swing a cat without hitting an amazing restaurant. I decline and promptly take myself to Yauatcha, where I marvel at the crispness of the beancurd in a prawn cheung fun, the delicately arranged roe on a trio of scallop shui mai and the slippery gorgeousness of a baked turnip cake. Who needs men when you have good food anyway?!
What I like about Happn: What I love about this is that it sort of simulates how dating used to be, except you have the assurance before you approach someone that they’re not going to reject you. That, and no one can hide behind a dodgy 5 year old picture.
What I don’t like so much: It can be weird if you accidentally open Happn at work and a bunch of colleagues pop up. Awks.
Click to read My Review of Hix
Stay tuned for more dating app reviews, and check out my Top 10 Best Date venues in London for when you find dates that are slightly less crap than the above ;)